| The State, I Mean Province That I Am In |
[May. 19th, 2008|10:36 pm] |
Crikey, it's been a while since I posted on any kind of regular basis here, and for this I must humbly apologise. And then secondarily apologise for the "whirlwind tour of what's going on in my life" entry that follows; if I'd been doing my job as ace blogger ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) verlaine properly for the past six months, none of this infodump would be necessary.
The big news I expect is that I am well and truly engaged to be married, having bought Tessa the prettiest antique ring in the world somewhere in the region of Valentine's Day. The wedding is going to be in a year's time, May 17th 2009, on a very pleasant island halfway between Vancouver and Victoria called Pender. I know it's a million miles away for most of you and my track record for attending YOUR weddings recently has been pretty poor, but if you fancy a Canadian jaunt next spring you'd be very welcome to come to British Columbia and enjoy the hospitality of my in-laws-to-be. No doubt I will invite certain of you in a more personalised manner, in order to maximise your sense of guilt when you briefly investigate the cost of plane fares and decide you'd rather just go down the pub anyway. But yeah, spring 2009, if the weight of international social obligation rests heavily on your shoulders - save the date.
The nearly-as-big news is that I have TRANSFORMED MY LIFE by the acquisition of a miniature schnauzer puppy who goes by the name of Finnegan. It's a fair cop, I tried to move amongst you cat-loving freaks without attracting suspicion for years, but I was always a dog person after all. My hands may be cut to ribbons by his savage fangs, but still I have to say that getting a dog may be the best thing that ever happened to me. Witness the benefits I enjoy. One, owning a dog turns you into an early riser (woe betide anyone who would stand in the way of puppy wanting breakfast at the crack of dawn). Two, it makes of you an active, outdoorsy individual - it's a minimum of three walks a day right now or, fizzing with righteous energy, he destroys the house. Screw faddy diets, get a dog and the pounds will just fall off. Three, and most importantly, it turns you into a tidy person! I never thought it was possible, but despite all these years turning a blind eye to my own personal filth, there's something about doggy poo, pee and shredded cardboard strewn over every surface that insists that now would be a good time to get the cleaning done. Plus, you can never fail to put anything away ever again. We have already lost a DVD, a CD, several electrical cables, part of a George Orwell book and a large box of prophylactics to the depredations of the hound. However, given that the DVD he took out was of controversial Doctor Who episode Love & Monsters, the CD the second, less good Kaiser Chiefs album, and that he stopped shredding the Orwell at *exactly* Page 1, apparently disagreeing only with the foreword, I'm not sure he is possessed of a mindless lust for destruction so much as a keenly developed critical faculty. Time will tell.
Here is a random picture of our new canine overlord:
My final piece of news, and it's so mind-boggling that I can't tell how it ranks in importance compared to the above bulletins, indeed possibly eclipses them entirely: following an argument over the provenance of Fraggle Rock, in which I brutally mocked all assertions that the show could be anything but English, it being set ON A LIGHTHOUSE OFF THE CORNISH COAST, Uncle Travelling Matt having encounters with silly people from outer space feeding paper into the maws of ROYAL MAIL POSTBOXES and so forth... I nevertheless undertook a quick investigation and discovered that Fraggle Rock was a completely different show in all the different countries it was shown in! Apart from what is obviously the canonical, lighthouse-set Fraggle Rock, the North American audience allowed itself to be persuaded that Fraggle Rock lies beneath the house of some kind of inventor called Doc, who later developed Tourette's and opened a bar in the movie Boondock Saints, effing and blinding furiously until the day he died; the French version was set beneath a bakery, and so on and so forth. Imagine if you can an infinite number of Fraggle Rocks existing simultaneously in every conceivable parallel universe, the one fixed immutable point (hence Rock, of course) in all creation, while all else around it is in flux, mere shadows cast on the cave wall by the candlelight of Gobo, Mokey, Boober, Wembley, and Red. Does that blow your mind as much as it blows mine? |
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That's no dog. He looks like a stone, a very pebble-stone.
He has no more pity in him than a dog, I'll warrant you.
Congratulations young man.
Is this a game of Call My Bluff and we have to guess which of your three news items is real? If so, I'm going with the dog.
Many congratulations on the engagement. Although I'm still not sure this Tessa girl really exists. This is probably all some kind of elaborate scam based on international tax fraud that I haven't quite figured out yet.
Congratulations on your having convinced a dog to be your overlord and Tessa to marry you. You are clearly using those Jedi mind tricks to the hilt!
Lots of love and all best wishes.
aw, he looks like a stuffed toy. i can't believe he could cause ANY carnage. no sir.
also, have you just done a myspace (as all the kids are not calling it these days) and invited the ENTIRE INTERNET to trash and party at your in-laws next year? impressive.
i don't think i have any exciting news from the past 6 months. so instead all i will share with you is that I HAVE BEEN DANCING ON STAGE WITH THE WU TANG CLAN* OMG I RULE AT LIFE.
*ok, not all of them....
I shared a prison cell with Ol' Dirty Bastard once, if that counts. Do you know the song "The Wu Tang Clan" by The French (aka Darren Hayman out of Hefner)? It always makes me laugh.
I have invited the entire internet to parties before. I don't see why weddings should have different rules!
ooh! congratulations. I shall be in vancouver this september, but alas won't be hanging around until the wedding :)
OH MY GOODNESS Matthew! I totally want to come to your wedding if you were thinking of inviting me! That may not be an actual possibility, but I figure you'd be sufficiently distracted for me to steal your puppy...
Well, we can't really take him on honeymoon, can we, so if you don't come to our wedding and kidnap him I'll probably have to put him in a sack and throw him in the sea, and how could you live with yourself after that? I hope you can make it!
That's one of the happiest dogs I've ever seen. Congratulations on him, and all else!
Congratulations! (And your wedding date is so unoriginal :P )
Well, what can you do? That's the spring long weekend here, when Canadians celebrate Victoria Day (they're big into London Underground stations here in Canada), so when else is there?
You're right though... Dylan my best friend from school just got married this weekend, on May 17th!
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/11125448/775687) | From: j4
2008-05-20 09:59 am (UTC)
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Congratulations!
Congratulations! How marvelous :D
Congratulations! Also, cute dog :-)
Congrats!
Finnegan is cute, but I imagine will grow much bigger than my cute chihuahua. :)
\o/ I say! Congratulations!!!! Awesome!
Congratulations! That all sounds excellent. Apart from the dog mess bit.
Congratulations on the engagement!
Many congratulations! As I understand the kids say, \o/
Congratulations dude! Also, could I have your email address? I have a few questions that I thought you might be able to answer for me if you have the time, re: Canada and suchlike. Would appreciate it, cheers.
It is osirun@gmail.com. Happy to answer any and all Canada-related questions; after a year and a bit here I am a self-proclaimed expert.
Crikey. Congratulations.
I may well be visiting the west coast May next year.
Well there's a wedding for you to crash if you can be somewhere near British Columbia in the middle of the month. As long as you don't do your Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson schtick with the ladies like last time :P
Congratulations! In a weird, roundabout and slightly confused way, I still credit you with the fact that I am now getting married, so am even happier that you are too.
Working with and for dogs briefly made me want one until I remembered that Cats. Are. Better.
x
It does blow my mind! How could we all be right??
I was just wondering how you were faring with the fair Tessa. I thought things must have gone horribly wrong since you hadn't said anything. I'm very happy to be wrong.
Congratulations!
Except on the acquiring of a small yappy dog. Cats and big black dogs are much better.
Finnegan is like an exact 50/50 hybrid of cat and big black dog, and as such clearly the best thing ever! | |
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