| "Food stamps? I've always wanted to mail food!" |
[Feb. 26th, 2009|10:17 am] |
Yesterday a recruitment person got in touch with me about some Web Editor position doing write-ups of hotels for Expedia, which sounded fun enough, but the true amusement came later that evening when I received a phone call from a second "recruitment professional" eagerly desiring to put my resume forward for... exactly the same job. It's quite sad to realise that there's a whole raft of people out there who must make a living googling for resumes on monster.com. They are worse parasites than Dylan-loving poetry profs!
I do need a job soon though, as admission-processing season at the university is about to run out. Walking to my guitar lesson the other night I spied a man in dark glasses milling around at the side of the road by some stoplights. He had a sign declaring him to be "BLIND, HOMELESS, HUNGRY" and a surly-looking boxer dog tethered nearby. I wasn't sure if I believed he was blind, the handwriting was suspiciously good and the dog didn't look like it would have passed its seeing-eye exams, plus if I was a blind man the last place I'd want to be was teetering precariously on the edge of traffic; but you can't accost people and accuse them of not being blind, can you, it's like when you declare someone's luxuriant beard to be fake and try to wrench it off their chin, it always ends badly.
Anyway, the point of this story is that if I don't have a new job within a week or two my ingenious moneymaking plan is to stand at an intersection in dark glasses and a sign that reads "BLIND, HOMELESS, AND SO HUNGRY I ATE MY DOG". It'd take a hard heart to withhold spare change from that. |
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There's a special thing "recruitment professionals" can pay to subscribe to that will email them all the CVs off monster and other sites that meet the criteria they've set - newly uploaded, newly amended, interested in X kind of work etc. Not that Monster et al tell you this.
You mean all these people do is press a button, make a couple of phone calls, then collect a large finder's fee? WHY DON'T I HAVE THAT JOB? Oh yeah, the having a soul thing.
Hot icon by the way! Roll on 2010.
Wow, reviewing hotels would be such a kick-arse job for me right now. Or reviewing travel stuff in general. Anything that allowed me to travel.
Ooh, it's you. I was thinking nostalgically about you only the other day, wishing we'd hung out more in the last 15 years.
Sadly I suspect this job would not entail visiting hotels so much as pretending to have done so. On the other hand, obviously my blurbs would be a LOT more favourable after a night or two in the penthouse suite with full access to the minibar.
I wonder how hard it would be, with some impressive-looking credentials and an accomplice at the end of a phone line, to travel the word "reviewing" swanky hotels and restaurants for "a prestigious journal" of some sort? We ought to try.
That is an absolutely bullet proof plan b. Love it.
I once sat on Old Compton Street with a friend, with cans of beer and sign saying 'Philosophers - Please give generously'. We made £20 in 1/2 hour!
I'd have dug deep about my person and found some hemlock for you, I think :D
From: (Anonymous)
2009-02-27 04:44 am (UTC)
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Lewis Daisuki!
From: (Anonymous)
2009-02-27 04:45 am (UTC)
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ルイス、大好き。
From: (Anonymous)
2009-02-27 04:48 am (UTC)
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これから、Zogan MassageとYogaとエキササイズでいそがしくなっちゃう。
今年と来年の目標：るいすのお嫁さんになってるいすの赤ちゃんを産むこと。
From: (Anonymous)
2009-02-27 04:52 am (UTC)
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私とルイスはperfect match。
なんだか感動的。
From: (Anonymous)
2009-02-27 05:17 am (UTC)
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現代のfairy taleかもね。
へんな結婚離婚を繰り返して、子供はいない男と、お嫁に行くよりテロリストに誘拐されるほうがあり得そうなほど、嫁に行く気配のないヒロインがmiddle ageで結婚するというのって。
それで、キャリーとBigの中年セレブカップルに子供が生まれるというのがすごくかっこいいのかもね。私たちは時代の最先端？
Paradimの変換に乗り遅れたりしていない。わ～い。
you can't accost people and accuse them of not being blind, can you
The way to do it is to speak a message of understanding and sympathy, while visually belying it with vigorous and insulting face-pulling.
If they haul off and pop you one in the snoot, they weren't blind and your stance is vindicated.
If they are genuinely charmed and delighted, you can believe that they are blind, and no-one need know what went before. | |
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